WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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