Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
