Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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