Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my shit smells like andre
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
