Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
