ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
