i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
