my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
