happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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