she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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