there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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