No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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