what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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