he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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