My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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