I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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