so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
