ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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