Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
