oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize