Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
