guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need a beard to bite.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
