I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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