wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
