you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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