idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
