but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
