high people should be assigned attendants
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
