I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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