She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
