So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize