And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
