i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
