It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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