At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The ass gains better be worth it
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