I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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