I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
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I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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