i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
