I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
