loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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