so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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