yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
