At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
