any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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