you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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