For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
