Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
