did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
