hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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