Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
they're like a gay fantastic four
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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