I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
